Goodbye, dear friend: Anita Redner z”l

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 4:58pm -- Synagogue Counc...

By Alan Teperow

How sad and tragic to have learned this morning about the sudden and untimely death of our good friend, Anita.  Like all of you, I am in shock.

In the absence of any way to make sense of the tragedy, we have no alternative but to accept this unimaginable loss by showing gratitude for Anita’s magnificent soul and selfless deeds.  A true eishet chayil, Anita set an example for us all about loving humanity and following in God’s ways.

My first memory of Anita goes back to her teenage years as an active member of United Synagogue Youth (USY) from Peabody; I was a youth director in Milton and Abe Morhaim – a member of SCM’s Board – was her rabbi.  Even then I could tell that this was a very special young lady, mature beyond her years, intensely devoted to her family and her Judaism.

Fast forwarding through our years of USY involvement, college and Zamir Chorale of Boston, I was thrilled to find Anita anxious to be active in the Jewish community beyond her synagogue, finding her rightful place here at the Synagogue Council of Massachusetts.  Upon hearing today’s tragic news, one of our earlier Presidents, Dick Wissoker, just called and reminded me that Anita’s first involvement here was on a Task Force on Synagogue Affiliation – before she even belonged to a synagogue.  Anita often said that our slogan “Be A Part, Not Apart” encouraged her to join Temple Beth Avodah as a young couple, with her beloved Sid.

Anita has been one of SCM’s most active leaders ever, joining and leading many committees, task groups and strategic planning processes.  She has also attended nearly every program offered by the organization, from NYC Unity Missions to weekend Shabbatonim, from Annual Meetings to Birnbaum lectures.  Commiserating just minutes ago with Marilin Lipman, SCM’s Assistant Director, what struck us is not how many activities Anita attended or committees she led, but the ways in which she has affected people’s lives.

As President of SCM, Anita wrote individualized notes to show her gratitude for someone’s involvement and regularly made personal calls on to reach out on behalf of the Synagogue Council.  She visited people in their homes during shiva, taught trope to individuals wishing to learn how to read Torah for our annual Shabbaton, became a mentor to many women who were pursuing greater Jewish involvement, and was a gracious and articulate spokesperson for our organization.  She pursued a Masters degree in Jewish education at Hebrew College and was the class valedictorian, delivering her commencement speech in Hebrew.

I have witnessed first hand how, as a new member at Temple Emanuel, Anita quickly stepped up and took on many major (behind the scenes) responsibilities at the synagogue.  I emphasize “behind the scenes” because Anita just wanted to be helpful, with no fanfare and no formal title.  She became an adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutor, helped with special needs kids and their families, visited the sick and infirm in their apartments or nursing homes, drove elderly members to shul every Shabbat, helped people with special needs get their food at Kiddush, led shiva minyanim, and so much more.

Most importantly, to me anyway, is that Anita was the wonderful shadchan who introduced me to my lovely wife, Suzanne.

Now several years after her presidency, Anita has continued to be involved in SCM.  How surprised we were to learn that she and Sid would be leaving Boston, selling their Brookline condo, and moving to Santa Fe to begin a new life.  After much packing, schlepping and exhaustion, Anita was finally prepared to go, with a cheery disposition and great anticipation.  We said goodbye at SCM’s Board meeting in June and then at shul shortly before their departure.

What a sad irony that so many of us were able to say goodbye to Anita – never considering for a moment that this would be a final goodbye.  I remember the exact date of their departure, June 12th, because it was the day after SCM’s Annual Tribute Celebration.  Anita was so apologetic that she would be missing this event, one she had attended year in and year out, because of its proximity to their moving day.  Under the circumstances, we agreed jokingly that this year’s excuse was acceptable but that Anita would be back next year for my going-away party in June.

So, after 45+ years of knowing and loving Anita, I must say goodbye.  Thank you, dear friend, for your acts of chesed, your love of Judaism, your devotion to the Synagogue Council, and your deep and abiding friendship.

Comments

Submitted by susan shevitz (not verified) on
What a beautiful piece, Alan. The memories you shared are very precious. Hamakom yenachem. . . .

Submitted by Mike Rosenberg (not verified) on
Alan, beautifully written.... her devotion will serve as an example for generations.

Submitted by Elizabeth Pressman (not verified) on
Thank you Alan for capturing so many of Anita's amazing accomplishments, but mor importantly, the extraordinary mensch she was every moment of her life. May her memory be for a blessing.

Submitted by Jamie Stolper (not verified) on
Thank you, Alan, for articulating so beautifully, during this most difficult time, your memories of Anita's very special personality and life. I knew her first through Schechter, as my son's school nurse, and then in so many other ways, it was hard to believe she could do it all. And apparently is was even more than we all knew. May her family and friends be comforted by the memory of her good deeds. She was/is a blessing to all of us.

Submitted by Michelle Gary (not verified) on
Anita's memory is truly a blessing. Thanks for sharing your beautiful memories of Anita.

Submitted by Lauren Gabovitch (not verified) on
I will miss Anita. Her attention to you made you feel that you were the only one in the room. Her smile was infectious and her enthusiasm contagious. Thank you, Alan, for capturing some of her wonderful qualities.

Submitted by Ruth Glazerman (not verified) on
Thank you, Alan, for capturing and expressing for us the soul and spirit of Anita. She will be sorely missed.

Submitted by Jane Stepak (not verified) on
Thank you, Alan, for your beautiful words. My heart is breaking to hear this sad news. Anita was one of my greatest inspirations starting from my days in USY. Her kindness, listening ear, and cheering me on were all priceless gifts to me. May her memory be for a blessing.

Submitted by Lisa Litant (not verified) on
I'm still in shock after hearing the news about Anita. My favorite memory of her is when she asked me to lead services at an SCM Shabbaton. I was nervous and she went out of her way to record the entire service to encourage me. I will miss her kindness.

Submitted by Irwin Thall (not verified) on
Alan, thank you for the wonderful tribute and summary of Anita's life and accomplishments. I can feel the love in your words. We shared the same history and I just re-connected with Anita through the internet after all the intervening years and she was warm and welcoming, to me as I see she was to everyone. it is a life cut off too early, but thank you again my friend for those thoughtful words. Be well.

Submitted by helene Tuchman (not verified) on
you truly captured Anita in all her helpfulness, modesty, enthusiasm and kindness.

Submitted by Lisa Levens (not verified) on
I am writing as my eyes fill with tears. Alan, thank you for your gracious eulogy about Anita who I did not know. (unless her name changed when she married and our paths crossed in Zamir but I'm not sure). What a remarkable woman and an asset to our greater Jewish community. She was so generous with her many gifts and touched and changed so many lives. Clearly anyone who's life was impacted by Anita was truly blessed. Thank you Anita for your contribution to Judaism. Your foot prints in the Torah will always be visible. My prayer go out to her family. I am so sorry for your loss. Tishlah nishmatach et hashamayim v'tanuchi b'shalom.

Submitted by Marcia Leifer (not verified) on
Thank you Alan for sharing these wonderful memories. Those who knew Anita were touched and knew they had been touched. Hearing about all she did is inspirational - I appreciate your reflections- she is already missed.

Submitted by Bonnie Millender (not verified) on
Alan, thank you for your beautiful tribute to Anita. You captured her spirit and her tremendous capacity for love and generosity so perfectly. What a loss for the Jewish community and to all of us who knew her personally. Her memory will indeed be a blessing.

Submitted by Sid Kadish (not verified) on
What an angel she was, and how we will miss her. Alan, you have succinctly captured Anita's essence.I knew Anita best through her volunteering (ravening, Torah reading,etc)at the Chapel Minyan at Temple Emanuel. I also knew her because she cared for my daughter Emily who developed Type I Diabetes while at the Schecter School. Anita, your legacy is a wonderful blessing for us all.

Submitted by Beth M. Whitman (not verified) on
Alan it was a total shock to hear about the passing of Anita. She was such an inspiration in the Jewish world. I loved her enthusiasm and was a great mentor to many. I had the opportunity to work with her several times at Shabbatons and other SCM events and I was truly shocked when I heard of her passing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful euology. She will be missed my so many.

Submitted by Beth M. Whitman (not verified) on
Alan it was a total shock to hear about the passing of Anita. She was such an inspiration in the Jewish world. I loved her enthusiasm and was a great mentor to many. I had the opportunity to work with her several times at Shabbatons and other SCM events and I was truly shocked when I heard of her passing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful euology. She will be missed my so many.

Submitted by Beth M. Whitman (not verified) on
Alan it was a total shock to hear about the passing of Anita. She was such an inspiration in the Jewish world. I loved her enthusiasm and was a great mentor to many. I had the opportunity to work with her several times at Shabbatons and other SCM events and I was truly shocked when I heard of her passing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful euology. She will be missed my so many.

Submitted by Beth M. Whitman (not verified) on
Alan it was a total shock to hear about the passing of Anita. She was such an inspiration in the Jewish world. I loved her enthusiasm and was a great mentor to many. I had the opportunity to work with her several times at Shabbatons and other SCM events and I was truly shocked when I heard of her passing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful euology. She will be missed my so many.

Submitted by Beth M. Whitman (not verified) on
Alan it was a total shock to hear about the passing of Anita. She was such an inspiration in the Jewish world. I loved her enthusiasm and was a great mentor to many. I had the opportunity to work with her several times at Shabbatons and other SCM events and I was truly shocked when I heard of her passing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful euology. She will be missed my so many.

Submitted by Beth M. Whitman (not verified) on
Alan it was a total shock to hear about the passing of Anita. She was such an inspiration in the Jewish world. I loved her enthusiasm and was a great mentor to many. I had the opportunity to work with her several times at Shabbatons and other SCM events and I was truly shocked when I heard of her passing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful euology. She will be missed my so many.

Submitted by Beth M. Whitman (not verified) on
Alan it was a total shock to hear about the passing of Anita. She was such an inspiration in the Jewish world. I loved her enthusiasm and was a great mentor to many. I had the opportunity to work with her several times at Shabbatons and other SCM events and I was truly shocked when I heard of her passing. Thank you for writing such a beautiful euology. She will be missed my so many.